I think I probably vent about this same thing around this time every year. The "resolutioners." Although this time it's just about people in the gym in general. Today I was on a treadmill and a woman hopped onto the one next to me. Now, I'm no Skinny Susan, but at least I dress to conceal. This woman was wearing skin tight, shiny, black Spandex biker shorts pulled all the way up over her F.U.P.A. (ask me some other time) with a baby blue t-shirt tucked into it. Umm, OK. That part didn't bother me. It's the fact that she was humming that drove me nuts. Humming!
I know what you must be thinking, 'she's just humming, put your damn headphones on and stop obsessing about it!' Well, I could hear her over my headphones! At the risk of keeping my hearing for as long as possible, I was not going to blast them just to drown out this woman's humming. So I focused very intently on my workout, my music and the X-games on the tv in front of me. Let's go off on a sidebar for a minute here to talk about my incredible hearing capabilities.
This is a constant battle between Al and I. The volume of the tv. It's funny because I can hear undertones very very well but if a person is speaking right to me sometimes I can't hear them. I can hear Joan's computer like she's sitting next to me. I can hear the tv fine on a low volume. I could hear this woman humming. Al says I hear those things just because I focus on them and he may be right. But I do hear well for the most part. Much better than my in-laws or husband in any case. I digress.
So I was able to tune this woman out for the most part but then she started talking over me and my treadmill to her kids on the treadmill next to me. I almost whipped my headphones out and asked her if she wanted to switch but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of interrupting my workout. She also kept looking at the screen on my treadmill to gauge my workout. Could you please focus on your own damn workout because you've got a long way to go, lady!
Those little annoyances aside, let's examine her "workout." It drives me bananas when someone is on the treadmill and then hang on to the treadmill the whole time. I'm not talking about the people who are rehabbing an injury either. I'm talking about the ones who pick a harder workout than they can do. If you can't do it without holding on, then maybe you need to back it off a bit. Don't they realize they'll burn more calories by swinging their arms? It's not doing you any good or giving you the kind of workout you need to be hanging on to the bar or the top when the incline or speed increases. And running while holding onto the side rails? What. The. Fuck.
Aaaaannnnnnnnnnddddddd could you PLEASE clean the God damned machines when you are done using them? I've got enough of my own DNA I don't need any of yours, thank you very much! It's cold and flu season for Chrissakes!
I know what you must be thinking, 'she's just humming, put your damn headphones on and stop obsessing about it!' Well, I could hear her over my headphones! At the risk of keeping my hearing for as long as possible, I was not going to blast them just to drown out this woman's humming. So I focused very intently on my workout, my music and the X-games on the tv in front of me. Let's go off on a sidebar for a minute here to talk about my incredible hearing capabilities.
This is a constant battle between Al and I. The volume of the tv. It's funny because I can hear undertones very very well but if a person is speaking right to me sometimes I can't hear them. I can hear Joan's computer like she's sitting next to me. I can hear the tv fine on a low volume. I could hear this woman humming. Al says I hear those things just because I focus on them and he may be right. But I do hear well for the most part. Much better than my in-laws or husband in any case. I digress.
So I was able to tune this woman out for the most part but then she started talking over me and my treadmill to her kids on the treadmill next to me. I almost whipped my headphones out and asked her if she wanted to switch but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of interrupting my workout. She also kept looking at the screen on my treadmill to gauge my workout. Could you please focus on your own damn workout because you've got a long way to go, lady!
Those little annoyances aside, let's examine her "workout." It drives me bananas when someone is on the treadmill and then hang on to the treadmill the whole time. I'm not talking about the people who are rehabbing an injury either. I'm talking about the ones who pick a harder workout than they can do. If you can't do it without holding on, then maybe you need to back it off a bit. Don't they realize they'll burn more calories by swinging their arms? It's not doing you any good or giving you the kind of workout you need to be hanging on to the bar or the top when the incline or speed increases. And running while holding onto the side rails? What. The. Fuck.
Aaaaannnnnnnnnnddddddd could you PLEASE clean the God damned machines when you are done using them? I've got enough of my own DNA I don't need any of yours, thank you very much! It's cold and flu season for Chrissakes!
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