I know most men and forward thinking women think Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday created by Hallmark and I don't necessarily disagree or expect my husband to do anything spontaneous or romantic on February 14th but a girl can hope. I don't think there's anything wrong with setting aside a day to make your loved one feel extra special. Most men will rebut "I show you that I love you every day" but Valentine's Day gives them an excuse to go above and beyond that "every day" love. This is especially true when you aren't married to someone who sends you flowers randomly or surprises you with little treats or love notes occasionally.
However, I've never been one to put a lot of pressure to make sure my honey did something special for me. Except one V-Day. I was dating Brett, my high school sweetheart and I kept dropping obvious hints about a ruby necklace and earring set I had my heart set on from Kay Jewelers. I don't think they were that expensive but when you are 20, getting jewelry from your boyfriend is a big deal!
I didn't have a lot of money at the time and really couldn't think of what to get him, so I made him a "love coupon book." I spent a whole day on it, making each coupon unique and special. For those of you who know me well, you know I love to be creative and make things. There were a bunch of different coupons in it. "1 Free Tank of Gas," "1 Free Massage." "1 Free Homemade Dinner," etc. I was really proud of it and thought it was super cute.
So we went out to dinner that night in Northampton and exchanged our gifts at the table. I had pretty much known that he would get me the ruby set and was thrilled to pieces when he handed me the heart shaped box. But when I gave him the envelope with my hand made coupons and he opened it, well, let's just say the look on his face was permanently emblazoned in my mind. Disbelief. Shock, and not in a good way. I'm not sure what he was expecting to get but it certainly wasn't a handmade book of "free" favors. In not so many words he basically said "Wow, you are cheap."
I was crushed. I had worked really hard and put a lot of thought into the coupon book and when I saw the look on his face when he opened it, my heart sank. I felt guilty for not spending money on something for him. I felt embarrassed that he bought me jewelry and I gave him some construction paper stapled together. But mostly I felt sad that someone I loved didn't see past the ribbon and paper and glitter to the gift underneath.
So, since then, I've never put a lot of pressure on my significant other to make sure Valentine's Day was something special, choosing not to comment on the commercials for candy and flowers, walking past the red and pink displays with all the cards but hoping that he would think of something on his own but I'm not uber disappointed when nothing happens. Aside from last year when he completely forgot Valentine's Day, I usually get a beautiful orchid plant (that I subsequently end up killing by mid year) from Al. And he did end up cooking dinner for me last year. He's a good do-be! :-)
I guess Valentine's Day can be whatever you choose it to be. Just another day or a day for the romantically impaired to make up for the rest of the year.
However, I've never been one to put a lot of pressure to make sure my honey did something special for me. Except one V-Day. I was dating Brett, my high school sweetheart and I kept dropping obvious hints about a ruby necklace and earring set I had my heart set on from Kay Jewelers. I don't think they were that expensive but when you are 20, getting jewelry from your boyfriend is a big deal!
I didn't have a lot of money at the time and really couldn't think of what to get him, so I made him a "love coupon book." I spent a whole day on it, making each coupon unique and special. For those of you who know me well, you know I love to be creative and make things. There were a bunch of different coupons in it. "1 Free Tank of Gas," "1 Free Massage." "1 Free Homemade Dinner," etc. I was really proud of it and thought it was super cute.
So we went out to dinner that night in Northampton and exchanged our gifts at the table. I had pretty much known that he would get me the ruby set and was thrilled to pieces when he handed me the heart shaped box. But when I gave him the envelope with my hand made coupons and he opened it, well, let's just say the look on his face was permanently emblazoned in my mind. Disbelief. Shock, and not in a good way. I'm not sure what he was expecting to get but it certainly wasn't a handmade book of "free" favors. In not so many words he basically said "Wow, you are cheap."
I was crushed. I had worked really hard and put a lot of thought into the coupon book and when I saw the look on his face when he opened it, my heart sank. I felt guilty for not spending money on something for him. I felt embarrassed that he bought me jewelry and I gave him some construction paper stapled together. But mostly I felt sad that someone I loved didn't see past the ribbon and paper and glitter to the gift underneath.
So, since then, I've never put a lot of pressure on my significant other to make sure Valentine's Day was something special, choosing not to comment on the commercials for candy and flowers, walking past the red and pink displays with all the cards but hoping that he would think of something on his own but I'm not uber disappointed when nothing happens. Aside from last year when he completely forgot Valentine's Day, I usually get a beautiful orchid plant (that I subsequently end up killing by mid year) from Al. And he did end up cooking dinner for me last year. He's a good do-be! :-)
I guess Valentine's Day can be whatever you choose it to be. Just another day or a day for the romantically impaired to make up for the rest of the year.
No comments:
Post a Comment